dori's webspot

Day 19: Past the halfway mark!

2012-01-20T15:18:00.000+02:00

I have so much to say, wish I had time to update this blog more often...

Ok, so in a nutshell, I'll try summarize where I am at this stage of the vegan experiment:

- Although the idea of 'walking a mile in a vegan's shoes' was not one of the original intentions of this exercise, it has been an interesting side-effect. I feel a huge empathy for my vegan friends! It is not an easy way to live in today's society.

- The healthy side-effects of this little experiment have been amazing! My energy levels are much better, I sleep like the dead and wake up feeling rested and refreshed. If I gave up sugar too I might feel like I can fly!

- Confession: I have only stuck to it about 98%... had sushi with mayo twice (once knowingly) and ate a pig's ear (the pastry, not an ACTUAL pig's ear). This is better than I thought I would do actually!

- It has changed the way I eat for the better. I know I will drastically reduce the amount of meat, chicken and milk from my diet going forward. I had strong vegetarian tendencies before anyway.

- Regardless of all the positives, I've reached a stage where I'm beginning to feel like it's enough... I know I will make it to 31 January but I'm starting to look forward to the end now. And my first meal in Feb will be EGGS!!! :)

Day 8 - going SO well!

2012-01-09T17:16:00.000+02:00

I'm loving this little experiment!

I feel great, have discovered some amazing new foods and places to eat and shop - and I'm losing weight (whoop!).

Confession time: I had a little oopsie last night when I ate a veg sushi hand roll and didn't realise it had mayo... oh well, moving on.

My vegan friend showed me the best chocolate substitute... these biscuits pictured below. But I'm not eating that many of them anyway because I'm enjoying eating healthy again. :)

Other great new foods I've tried in the last week include avo hummus, rice noodles, quinoa and soy yoghurt.

Day 2 - Detox: Attack of the Snot!

2012-01-03T15:18:00.000+02:00

I didn't realise my body would start showing symptoms of detoxing so soon. This morning I had a headache from hell and the sneezing and snot has arrived in a big way!

The good news is that coffee with rice milk is delicious! Even if it looks like dirty dishwater... (pic above).

Had a yummy salad for lunch - couscous, chickpeas, corn, peas and avo.

Bad news is there's no way I'm up to exercising tonight as I had planned... hoping my energy levels and detox symptoms improve soon so I can get back into it.

A Month of Veganism - Day 1

2012-01-03T13:29:00.000+02:00

Ok, well day one went well and I'm feeling great!

Definitely already have more energy than I've had the last few days (which makes sense since the only sugar I've had the whole day was 2 spoons in my coffee). My pancreas seems happier... ;)

Breakfast was oats with rice milk - and it really filled me up until lunchtime.

Lunch was a soy hotdog on a wholewheat roll - delicious!

It's now dinner time but I'm still full from snacking on some almonds earlier so might just skip it.

I admit I am missing my chocolate but I know I just have to get through the first few days and that will go away... onward!

The last supper (and lunch and breakfast)...

2012-01-03T13:28:00.000+02:00

So I've spent this weekend being EXTRA decadent to enjoy all the stuff I'm giving up for the rest of the month.

Foods that have been consumed in the last 48 hours include pizza, salmon sushi, eggs, ice cream, creme brulee chocolate, coco pops and (one of the things I'll miss most) coffee with milk.

Disgusting!

My body is screaming out for fruit and vegetables.

Resurrecting the blog: A Month of Veganism

2012-01-03T13:19:00.000+02:00

So yes, it's been years since I've used this blog... but instead of creating more virtual real estate I decided to revisit it for the purpose of blogging about my latest experiment - a month of veganism.

The idea: 30 days of following a strictly vegan diet (2-31 Jan).
That's it really. Quite simple in theory but we'll see how easy it is to execute. I expect it to be quite a challenge!

Meat I can live without - it's the eggs and the dairy I'll miss the most.
And the chocolate! :(

So why am I doing this? Various reasons, the main ones being the need to get back to eating healthy and the desire to try something new (am so bored with my current food routine). And of course it's the challenge...

Anyway, I'm not embarking on this alone - my friend T is joining me (she was actually partly the inspiration for this project).

Watch this space... I'll be doing (hopefully) daily updates on our progress.

He he - swine flu...

2009-08-14T15:50:00.000+02:00

Funny... but sad and true

2008-02-06T09:31:00.000+02:00

This morning on 702, John Robbie was speaking to Professor John Makumbe from the University of Zimbabwe, who is a very funny man (not sure if he means to be but he is).

John asked him if he thinks it's possible Zimbabwe could suffer from post-election violence like in Kenya. The Prof's response was, "Very unlikely. The dictator has been very effective at turning Zimbabweans into cowards."

Funny... but sad and true.

Great Lyrics - the return!

2007-07-10T06:40:00.000+02:00

Been listening to another mix tape in the car - it's a compilation of heavy rock I made called SBMONBWALOHG ("Songs By Mainly One Name Bands With A Lot Of Heavy Guitar"). Been re-discovering the genius of bands like Therapy, Bush, The Breeders, Sonic Youth etc...

Cold Contagious - Bush

Wherever you are you will carry always
Truth of the scars and darkness of your faith
Slowly move on, how did we get to here?
It all went wrong, gravity claiming all your tears
Everything looks so much better now, looks so much better now

You will get yours
You will get yours
You will get yours
You have no right to ask me now
You were never that around
And I have missed

Reality daytrips and your suit me, suit me ways
Turn out the light switch, we've been awake for days
And no one's coming round here no more, no one's coming round here

You will get yours
You will get yours
You will get yours
You will get yours

You have no right to calm me down
You were never that around
And I have missed, I have missed

Cold contagious
All the mighty mighty men
What you save is what you lose out in the end

Cold contagious
Cold contagious

Paint your perfect day
I don't mind this
I'm better off by the way
I'm deeply grounded

Snow in Joburg!

2007-06-27T09:49:00.000+02:00

This was what we woke up to this morning... our thatch hut looked like a delicious icing sugar-covered cake!

My Tarot Card - I like it!

2007-04-30T02:41:00.000+02:00

You are The Star

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Star is one of the great cards of faith, dreams realised
The Star is a card that looks to the future. It does not predict any immediate or powerful change, but it does predict hope and healing. This card suggests clarity of vision, spiritual insight. And, most importantly, that unexpected help will be coming, with water to quench your thirst, with a guiding light to the future. They might say you're a dreamer, but you're not the only one.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

An interesting issue

2007-04-11T11:58:00.000+02:00

I was watching CSI the other night and it made me think. (WARNING: spoilers ahead if you haven't yet seen season 6!)
.
.
.
.
.

Two families, both with missing teenage daughters. The murdered body of one is found. The parents are naturally distraught. The other parents brace themselves for the worst - but it turns out their daughter is alive and well, and is actually the one who killed the other girl.

So, is it worse to find out you've lost a son or daughter - or that your child is a murderer?

Evil wears a ginger coat!

2007-03-06T05:00:00.000+02:00

But it can also be oh so cute...

I miss my old Homeless Talk guy

2007-02-07T09:35:00.000+02:00

From 1997 to 2000, I worked in an area called Forest Town. Every morning I would drive past a guy selling Homeless Talk*. He was really good-looking - a bit like Blair Underwood - and sweet and friendly.

Every month I would buy a copy from him. And he would remember that. The rest of the month he would just wave to me as I drove past - never nagging me to buy again.

He became part of my driving to work routine, so when he disappared one day, I got worried that something had happened to him. Luckily he re-appeared a month later. I asked him where he had been, and he said "on holiday in KwaZulu-Natal visiting my family."

This amused me. The homeless guy could afford to go on holiday for a month. I couldn't do that!

Then I had another thought. Why, if you have family in KZN, would you choose to live the life of a homeless person in Joburg instead? Still a mystery to me...

In 2000 I changed jobs and no longer drove past that intersection. I missed my Homeless Talk guy and wondered if he was still there. Then one day last year I happened past that way and saw him still standing there. I waved all excitedly and was quite disappointed when he didn't seem to recognise me. It was with relief that I realised it must be because I have a new car now - he wouldn't have forgotten ME surely?

I now drive past another Homeless Talk guy every day on my way to work. It's just not the same. He doesn't remember when I've bought the paper or not and is constantly nagging me for money or old clothes. I've now given him half my wardrobe and have to admit I'm most amused when I see him wearing my trashy 80's green and black tiger print shirt!

But I miss my old Homeless Talk guy...

* Homeless Talk is a monthly newspaper that the homeless sell - similar to The Big Issue.

I know I has been a-quiet...

2007-01-30T01:21:00.000+02:00

... but I've been busy with my other blog.

Now that the cat is out of the proverbial bag, I share the link with you all:
http://blogthesprog.blogspot.com

Poem

2007-01-15T02:38:00.000+02:00

My friend Tanya (who lives in England now) wrote a poem last year. I think it's one of the best poems I've ever read, by anyone. I have asked her if I can post it on my blog. I find it chilling and sad, written about her father who was dying of emphysema. Unfortunately she didn't make it back in time to see him before he passed last week.

The Colonel is Dying

The Colonel is dying
Hanging by a thread
Oxygen tank whispers:
"Soon you'll be dead."

The Colonel is dying
These his last days
I have to see him
Before the funeral plays

The Colonel is dying
They are playing his song
Must see the Colonel
Before the Colonel is gone

This makes me really angry!!!

2007-01-12T10:10:00.000+02:00

Children left in car for six hours

East rand police will not charge a mother for leaving her two young children in the car while gambling and drinking at a casino. That is unless new evidence comes to light.

It is alleged the woman locked her two daughters aged one and two in her vehicle for six hours on Tuesday night while she gambled at Carnival City Casino in Brakpan.

Officers discovered the crying children after Carnival City management called police in the early hours of Wednesday morning to remove the drunken woman from the premises.

She was arrested for child abuse but was not charged due to a lack of evidence.

Confession time...

2007-01-05T02:40:00.000+02:00

Worst Books of 2006

2007-01-04T01:09:00.000+02:00

I forgot, I did read a couple of awful book last year! The only reason I stuck the one out was because my mother begged me to (I have since decided we have very different taste!) - and it was a holiday read so it didn't really matter. The other was Bret Easton Ellis, who has totally lost it in my opinion...

The Last Nazi by Stanley Pottinger
This book is stupid, horrible and extremely predictable. My mother said it has "lots of amazing twists". It doesn't. Don't read it.

Lunar Park by Bret Easton Ellis
As much as I disliked this book and as much as it disturbed me (and not in the usual 'normal' Bret Easton Ellis disturbing way either), I still admit he's a very good writer - and I will probably read his next book! Lunar Park starts out great, but then it suffers from the same fate as his previous book, Glamorama - and that is that it seemed to me that he had NO idea what do with the stories and they ended really stupidly. Unless I'm really missing something...

My Best Books of 2006

2007-01-02T04:56:00.000+02:00

I don't usually keep track of what books I read in a year, but am going to start now. I've been inspired by Tanya's list of goals for 2007 - I don't know how many books I read in 2006 but I know it wasn't enough! I'm not going to set a number for this year, but will just try read as much as possible. I also want to try read some old 'classic' books that I've never got around to before.

I don't have a list of worst books 'cos if I'm not enjoying a book I stop reading it. As a friend said to me years ago, "There are too many good books in the world to waste time reading bad ones."

Here are the books I enjoyed most in 2006 (that I can remember):

The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
This automatically became one of my favourite books of all time - I have yet to find anyone who didn't love it and didn't cry like a baby while reading it.

Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami
One of his best in my opinion, although I was a bit disappointed by the ending. Not a good one to start with if you haven't read him before... I recommend 'Hardboiled Wonderland and the End of the World'.

Weight: The Myth of Atlas and Heracles by Jeanette Winterson
It took a while to get into this one - and it is FAR from her best work - but it moved me on a personal level and in the end I really enjoyed it.

Sun Dog by Monique Roffey
This was a bizarre book. I'm still not sure what to make of the actual story, but it is written SO beautifully! One of those authors that make me never want to even try writing 'cos she makes it look so damn easy to say such amazing things...

Running with Scissors by Augusten Burroughs
Dry by Augusten Burroughs
Both these memoirs are easy reading in terms of style if not in content. The man has lived a very weird life, making "truth is stranger than fiction" the most appropriate thing to say about these books. I read 'Dry' first and am even more impressed with his writing now that I've read 'Running with Scissors' - considering he basically never went to school! A most interesting character who I would love to meet in the flesh. And yes, I do want to read all his other stuff now too. See his website.

Rant time!

2006-12-07T18:11:00.000+02:00

So since gay marriage has been legalised here, some people I work with are voicing their opinions about it - and they're starting to piss me off.

The ones that annoy me most are the ones that start with:
"I'm not homophobic at all, BUT..."

Today I heard one that left me speechless. It went something like:
"Dori - I promise you I'm not homophobic... but I worry about the kids who will get adopted by these couples."

Me: "What do you mean?"

Them: "I mean the kids will growing up thinking that's normal."

Me: "I thought you said you WEREN'T homophobic?"

Them: "I'm not! But it's not normal. The kids will think it's the only way out."

Me: "???"

The dictionary definition of homophobia is 'irrational fear of, aversion to, or discrimination against homosexuality or homosexuals.'

And they think they're NOT homophobic???!!!

Your thoughts?

Popmarks!

2006-11-28T17:39:00.000+02:00

Ok - so we all know I love Warhol and the whole pop art thing... and I made a cool piece of functional art for my friend Claire - it's a pop art portrait bookmark - or a Popmark as I call it!

Below is the end result and the original pic I used...

If you want me to make you one, just send me a pic and I'll do it! Just note that eyes and teeth don't come out so good, that's why I used this particular pic of Claire.

And here they are...

2006-11-28T17:35:00.000+02:00

Well blow me down with a feather!

2006-10-20T19:18:00.000+02:00

Living in SA is SO exciting - check this out... Go DRC!!!

One marriage law for all, says Dutch Reformed Church

The Dutch Reformed Church (DRC) has come out in favour of a single law for all marriages, including gay unions.

It made the proposal in a submission this week to Parliament's home affairs portfolio committee, which is weighing up whether to approve a Civil Unions Bill, separate from the existing Marriage Act, to cater for same-sex partnerships.

"We are of the opinion that there should be one law for everyone. It is the only way in which we will truly recognise the equality of all people," the DRC said.

The DRC standpoint is in sharp contrast to that of the Catholic Church, which said earlier this week that man-made laws "cannot legitimise what is against the natural moral law".

The DRC said in its submission that as an interim measure, the Marriage Act should be amended by expanding certain definitions to give same-sex relationships equal status and rights.

This would cater for the Constitutional Court deadline for a law recognising same-sex unions.

In the long term, the Department of Home Affairs should start rewriting the entire Act, which could possibly be renamed the Civil Unions Act, and would recognise not only Christian marriages, but also similar unions in other religions and cultures, such as Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, African traditional and same-sex unions.

"The responsibility of religions to legalise marriages and unions according to their beliefs will then remain the prerogative of the relevant religious institutions," it said.

"We have a history of discriminating against people based on differences people have no control over. We cannot afford to again create a situation in which the law discriminates between people, compromising their dignity and equality."

At the same time, it said, it trusted that Parliament would refrain from passing any legislation that would in any way prevent religious communities from experiencing the blessing of healthy marriages and family structures according to the beliefs of that religious community.

Few churches worldwide were at present prepared to confirm a marriage (or legitimate relationship) between people of the same sex.

But this, it said, should not necessarily be a reason for the state not to formulate legislation in this regard and have it accepted by Parliament. -- Sapa

Some photos!

2006-10-11T15:37:00.000+02:00

This was taken on our recent weekend away in the mountains... it's the surface of some water in a fountain-type-pond thing. I thought it was so pretty - but even better when made into a 3-colour series!

Just an Illusion

2006-10-09T10:25:00.000+02:00

The illusion of you
My past
My weakness
My undoing

When will you go?
Leave me be?
Reveal yourself
As the truth you are?

You've trapped me
Under your spell
A captive
Forever

But it's just an illusion
I know that
Don't I?

I just have to laugh!

2006-09-18T14:04:00.000+02:00

Religion is a joke - but when it's not funny it just causes so much trouble doesn't it?

People think I'm an atheist because I don't believe in religion. Not true. I am a very spiritual person who believes in everybody being good and not harming others, karma etc.

So when the Pope put his foot in it... and then, like a self-fulfilling prophecy, some Muslims acted in that EXACT way, I had to laugh. People crack me up.

Come on everyone, just get over it! If you really have strong beliefs, then BELIEVE in them. Nothing anyone says should cause this much upset. Words mean nothing - actions speak volumes.

If you have NO idea what I'm on about - read this.

Great Lyrics... Part 8

2006-09-13T18:23:00.000+02:00

Ok – it’s soppy and mushy and he was involved with Jessica Simpson but this is a really good song!

What's Left Of Me - Nick Lachey

Watch my life pass me by
In the rearview mirror
Pictures frozen in time
Are becoming clearer
I don't want to waste another day
Stuck in the shadow of my mistakes

Cause I want you
And I feel you
Crawling underneath my skin
Like a hunger
Like a burning
To find a place I've never been
Now I'm broken
And I'm faded
I'm half the man I thought I would be
But you can have what's left of me

I've been dying inside
Little by little
Nowhere to go
But going out of my mind
In endless circles
Running from my self until
You gave me a reason for standing still

It's falling faster
Barely breathing
Give me something
To believe in
Tell me it's not all in my head

Take what's left of this man
Make me whole once again

I've been dying inside you see
I'm going out of my mind
Out of my mind
I'm just running in circles all the time
Will you take what's left of me?
Just running in circles in my mind
Will you take what's left of me?

The other name for my other cat

2006-09-12T15:27:00.000+02:00

Shika is simply "Stinky" - that's why we have to bath her.

Other names for my cat

2006-09-06T12:51:00.000+02:00

My Winston has been called many things since he adopted me in November 2000.

For the longest time I'm sure he thought his name was "Stop it!" (and when he scratches on the cupboards at 4am he still gets called that... along with a spray of water!).

These are some of the other things he gets called these days:
"Tyson" - because he has a girly high-pitched meow (like Mike Tyson's voice).
"Piglet" - when he munches all his food and then gobbles up Shika's too.
"Happy Cat/Purry Monster" - when he purrs so loudly we think he might explode!
"Tiger/Viscious Thing" - when he attacks!
"Shnookums" - what I call him when I get home from work and have missed him all day.
"Blinky the Wonder Cat" - this is Justin's name for him for when he fights with Shika and she kicks him in the eye so hard he keeps blinking for days...

But mostly he's just my baby ;)

From Blogthings: What Personality Disorder are you?

2006-09-05T14:01:00.000+02:00

Got this from Red...

You May Be a Bit Borderline...

Your mood swings make a roller coaster look tame!
When you're up, you're a little bit crazy...
And when you're down, your whole world is crashing
Scary thing is, these moods can change by the minute!

What Personality Disorder Are You?

Great Lyrics... Part 7

2006-09-01T18:02:00.000+02:00

I LOVE Georgie... am still a bit of a (not so) closeted Wham! fan. This song's fab for its super "it's really ok to be gay" lyrics...

An Easier Affair - George Michael

Here comes one for the ladies
For the ones who love me
To think I thought I could be some kind of family man
I told myself I was straight
But I shouldn’t have worried
‘Cos my Maker had a better plan for me

And I’m dancing with the freaks now
I'm havin’, I’m havin’ so much fun
What you sow is what you reap now
I’ll do my dance with everyone
I’ve been getting too much Sun
(Yes I’m dancin’ with the freaks now)
We’re havin’, we’re havin’ too much fun for them
Look who’s talking Guilty feet now…

Well let me tell you people
It’s an easier affair
Not living my life with other people on my mind
No, got nothing to hide from anyone
Yes, I’m walking on new air
Just living my life
Better believe I'm gonna get what’s mine
See I don’t have the time
For the haters

And all the time that I wasted
How careless of me
Too young and stupid to see
I put my life in their hands
(Gonna look for Cupid, man)
Oh, and I know that they want me to hate them
There’s no hurry
I’ll just have to be the bigger man

Dancin’ with the freaks now
I’m havin’, I’m havin’ so much fun
What you sow is what you reap now
I’ll do my dance with everyone
I’ve been getting too much Sun
If I turn the other cheek now
Would that be, would that be too much fun for them?
Look who’s talking
Guilty feet now…

Well let me tell you people
It’s an easier affair
Not livin’ my life with other people on my mind
No, got nothing to hide from anyone
‘Cos I’m walking on new air
Just living my life
Better believe I’m gonna get what’s mine
See I don’t have the time for the haters

Don’t let them tell you who you are is not enough
Don’t let them tell you that it’s wrong
Or that you won’t find love

Don’t let them use my life to put your future down
Don’t let them tell you that happiness can’t be found

For my life

Take it to the streets
There are stories you can keep
They’re just passing you by

Don’t let them tell you who you are is not enough
Don’t let them tell you that it’s wrong
Or that you won’t find love

Don’t let them use my life to put your future down
Don’t let them tell you that happiness can’t be found

The weather is FUKT!

2006-09-01T09:20:00.000+02:00

Today is supposed to be the first day of Spring.

I am wearing a vest, stockings, socks, a t-shirt, 2 long sleeve shirts, boots, scarf, gloves and a trenchcoat! Pretty much what I wore in London last November.

Jeez!

Books and Films that 'wounded' me

2006-08-16T11:34:00.000+02:00

I got this on email:

"I think we ought to read only the kind of books that wound and stab us... We need the books that affect us like a disaster, that grieve us deeply, like the death of someone we loved more than ourselves, like being banished into forests far from everyone, like a suicide. A book must be the axe for the frozen sea inside us."
Franz Kafka

And now the question: Which book(s) was your "axe"?

My two favourite books, 'The God of Small Things' by Arundhati Roy and 'The Man Who Fell in Love with the Moon' by Tom Spanbauer definitely had a huge impact on me. But it was probably parts of 'The Time Traveler's Wife' by Audrey Niffenegger that "grieved me deeply" and made me cry harder than any other book I've ever read. I know this was because of how I related to it on a personal level and not everyone would have the same reaction.

I had that same deeply personal reaction to the film 'The Village' (M. Night Shyamalan). Two other films that cut deep into my heart (ironically both about gay men) were 'Beautiful Thing' and 'Brokeback Mountain'.

Of course, my favourite film 'Naked' (Mike Leigh) also needs a mention... and I have some sort of forgotten childhood trauma from a movie about an otter that I can't remember. All I know is that if I see otters I want to cry really hard!

So what are yours?

The cutest kitties!

2006-08-16T11:28:00.000+02:00

So Winston and Shika really like their new purple blanket... and each other it seems!

How others see me...

2006-08-04T16:19:00.000+02:00

So I got this on email the other day:

Describe me in ONE WORD...just one word! Send it to me only , then send this message to your friends and see how many strange things people say about you! Just hit reply and send me my one word ! back. Then forward this message on to your friends (including me) and see what they say about you!

I sent it out and these are the replies I got:
happy
sassy
eclectic
uber intelligent (I know that's 2 words but I like it!)
unaffected
valuable
vivacious
inspiring
spammer (from Claire, who hates these types of mails and thinks she's funny)

I got these twice from different people so I guess I have to believe them:
real
loyal

A great ego-boosting exercise!

Ok - I'll meme...

2006-07-27T17:48:00.000+02:00

From Tanya's blog:

Five Things in My Freezer
1. Ice cubes
2. Bread
3. Frozen fish
4. Frozen turkey breasts
5. Some leftover pasta

Five Things in My Cupboard
1. Clothes (duh)
2. My journal
3. A box of ‘important stuff’ – passports etc...
4. Money (and I’m not telling where!)
5. A poster from the Mail & Guardian from many years ago (if you saw it you’d be shocked and horrified... but it’s art I say – not porn!)

Five Things in My Car
1. My yoga mat
2. Plastic packets for shopping
3. A Joburg map book
4. Gloves in the cubby hole (the glove compartment being used for its name!)
5. Lots of junk that needs to thrown out – mostly flyers that I take from people at intersections (see previous post)

Five Things in My Bag
1. Purse
2. Cellphone
3. Lock for a locker at the gym
4. My asthma pump
5. Lip balm

People PISS ME OFF!

2006-07-26T17:55:00.000+02:00

I really hate people who won't make the tiniest effort to be nice and help out when it costs them nothing!

The biggest example of this is those who won't take flyers from people at intersections. This is someone's job. Just take the fucking flyer! It doesn't cost anything and you can do what the hell you want with it... throw it away, recycle it, stick it up your ass - whatever!

Then last weekend I was at our local shop buying chocolate (OK - I really like the people who invented chocolate - you did good!) and the guy behind the counter was so nice and friendly and smiled at the woman in front of me and said "hello" and what did she do? She didn't smile or even look up - just shoved her stuff in front of him.

Cow!

It took a lot of control for me not to just punch her out right there.

Ok - I feel better now.

Unbalanced Documentary

2006-06-20T13:28:00.000+02:00

This was written by my friend Damon - make up your own mind...

I viewed a special pre-screening of a documentary film, "Obsession" this last week at the Killarney Mall. "Obsession" documents "Islamic Fundamentalism's" war against the West. This film hasn't been released commercially at this stage. The filmmakers hope to be doing that soon. I'm not so sure it's a good idea for this film to have wide-spread access. I found the film unbalanced and gratuitously slanted, in fact hate speech.

"Obsession" illustrates the Muslim hatred towards Jews and Israel via numerous news clips on Arab television. Various experts and witnesses were also interviewed. The film never asks the question, "Why"? This is a very important question to ask. I do not believe that people act with such extreme violence and hatred for no reason. Why do these Muslim Fundamentalists hate Jews and Israel? And what are the possible solutions? What about asking questions about the possible increase in Jewish and, or Christian Fundamentalism?

The answer to these questions should at least be explored. It reminds me of growing up in the 70's and 80's in South Africa. I didn't know any white people who asked, "Why is the ANC banned?", "Why does the ANC plant bombs?"

Video clips of young Muslim children shouting hate speech towards Jews and Israel is also there, illustrating the brain-washing in these societies. I can't help but feel that we are just as guilty of brain-washing our Jewish youth. Many Jewish kids grow up thinking that Judaism is far superior to any other religion. To this day, I often get the feeling that Jews look down on other religions.

To my utter dismay "Obsession" draws parallels between Hitler and his Nazi regime with today's "Muslim Fundamentalism". How many Muslim countries have invaded another country since World War Two? How many countries has the USA invaded or meddled in since World War Two? This film doesn't even mention George Bush or American Foreign policy once. Does American involvement in the Middle East play no role in the Islamic backlash prevalent? The film twists the word "struggle" to fit with its agenda. The word "Jihad" means "struggle" or "struggle within." This film suggests an Islamic link to Hitler's book, "Mein Kampf" - "My struggle". The suggestion is that "struggle" has a commonality, therefore they are in the same bed together. You have to be a real ignoramus in order to swallow that drivel. I'm suprised a link wasn't made with the ANC's "Armed Struggle." Maybe that will be in the next sequel? This is pure hate speech.

"Obsession" uses our Jewish hatred and fear towards Nazism in a most devious way. It is mischievous to put Hitler's Nazi practices in the same category as today's Muslim fight against the West. The film does have a prologue stating that most Muslims are peace-loving, and this film does not represent all Muslims worldwide. I seriously doubt this prologue diminishes the hate speech. It's like telling somebody you love them and then stabbing them in the chest.

If I had to sit and watch this movie with a Muslim person, I would die of embarrassment. If you see "Obsession", maybe ask yourself if you'd feel comfortable watching this movie with a Muslim. I think Muslim-Jewish relations in South Africa are relatively good. This movie could definitely harm the status quo, especially since the filmmakers are South African, or at least the Director/ Editor is, as far as I know.

The cinema audience that night was probably 99% Jewish. This audience responded to the film with admiration and applause. I felt like I was the only person who saw how flawed "Obsession" is. Has our Jewish community been so brain-washed to the extent that we are incapable of seeing the wood from the trees? Anyway, try catch it if you can, judge for yourself. It may be difficult, I doubt any distributor will touch it. It is available on DVD, if you know the right people.

Great Lyrics... Part 6

2006-06-13T17:48:00.000+02:00

These are possibly some of the best lyrics ever written... off a flawless CD.

Strange Glue - Catatonia

It was strange glue that held us together
While we both came apart at the seams
She said, 'Your place or mine
While we've still got the time'
So I played along with her schemes

But I don't have the right to be with you tonight
So please leave me alone with no saviour in sight
I will sleep safe and sound with nobody around me

When faced with my demons
I clothe them and feed them
And I smile, yes I smile
As they're taking me over

And if I cannot sleep for the secrets I keep
It's the price I'm willing to meet
The end of the night never comes too quickly for me

But I don't have the right to be with you tonight
So please leave me alone with no saviour
I will sleep safe and sound with nobody around me

When faced with my demons
I clothe them and feed them
And I'll smile, yes I'll smile
As they're taking me over

And if I cannot sleep for the secrets I keep
It's the prize I'm willing to steal
Oh the end of the night never comes too quickly for me

My recipe for a great relationship

2006-06-07T12:44:00.000+02:00

So Justin and I have been married about a month and a half now (nevermind the 7 and half years of 'dating' before that) - and it's going very well!

I have realised a few things about how we relate to each other, which I think are what make it work... things that may seem small but make all the difference in the long term. Besides, isn't it the little things that also make it NOT work?

Each night when I get home from work, he asks me how my day was, and I ask him the same thing.

We pay each other attention and compliments on a very regular basis - just today I was getting dressed for work and he was watching me and he smiled and told me I looked really cute in what I was wearing... he makes me feel like we just met and are in the 'twitterpated' stage. ;>

I think the best thing is that we take everything one day at a time - and that's why it's almost hard to believe we have been together so long!

I'm a VERY lucky gal.

Very good article... depressing, but true

2006-05-17T17:16:00.000+02:00

So I know it's been like forever since I posted anything here - been busy getting married and honeymooning and stuff... (will post a couple of pics up soon).

Unfortunately this comeback post is a serious one. Related to my previous post, the article below has made me feel justified in my feelings (and depressed the hell out of me at the same time).

I love SA so much and KNOW that most of the citizens are great people, but the rotten bunch that commit these horrific crimes sure make it seem like hell on earth.

It's not.

But maybe I'm wrong - read on...

Evil depth of SA’s crimes calls for drastic measures
By Rhoda Kadalie

A FEW days before the unspeakably brutal assassination of Brett Goldin and Richard Bloom, I noticed a little news report in the papers that went virtually unnoticed.

A Bloemfontein farming couple, aged more than 80 and 70 years respectively, was assaulted by five armed men. The old man was dumped in a scalding hot bath until the soles of his feet fell off and the guys jumped on the chest of the old woman breaking her ribs, damaging her lungs and her heart.

I read and reread this incredible story simply because my brain could not absorb such evil. Soon after, four corpses were found in a field in Philippi, all of this hot on the heels of the horrible murder of Judge Ngoepe’s angelic-looking granddaughter.

These murders unleashed a groundswell of emotion that demonstrated the public’s frustration with the levels of crime, which seems not to abate no matter what the statistics say. Talented people are wiped off the face of the earth by young people who should still be at school or in college. Callers to radio stations, text messages, and letters to the editor revealed a vulnerable nation living not so much in fear of crime itself as with the fear of being the target of the unmitigated cruelty that accompanies crime in SA.

Why is crime in SA so evil? Babies, young girls and grandmothers are raped; old people are hacked to death; women live in a state of fear; and government inspires no confidence in the justice system’s ability to stem the tide.

Last week I visited a maximum security prison, and all the inmates I dealt with were murderers. Many of the men had already served five to 10 years of their life sentences, and all looked incredibly young, which means they committed their crimes when they were teenagers.
We cannot explain these evil crimes in terms of our past even though apartheid did play a role in brutalising people in ways we shall never know. Nor can we blame it all on poverty because many countries with similar and worse poverty do not have the levels of crime we see here. So what is going on here?

Have we provided the context for the levels of crime we are experiencing today? At the time of the truth commission in 1996, several gang leaders approached me as human rights commissioner, complaining that political “gangsters” were promised the option of immunity but not them. They asked me if I could set up a meeting with Dullah Omar, the then justice minister, where they would request immunity for certain crimes in exchange for information on police who were working with the gang leaders and drug lords. For several reasons this meeting did not take place, among them being that government felt we should not negotiate with criminals. As much as I understood the reasons, I firmly believed it was a moment lost.

Many politicians are perceived by criminals to have become instantly wealthy. The criminals reckon politicians do not have to be educated or work hard to be rich, so why can’t we do the same? They are not role models, and so through crime and drug trafficking we gangsters can also live rich. What we see in the townships is the glamorisation of crime, and many have told me that what they earn through real work is pocket money compared with the money they get through crime.

Government has failed to act and set boundaries for criminals, so criminals use their anger and criminality in a pseudopolitical context to continually test the limits of a weak justice system and its boundaries, which are extremely malleable and elastic.

Our sentencing regimes are no deterrent. A crucial part of any argument against the death penalty is the assurance that brutal criminals will be kept locked behind bars. With recidivism rates of 80% and with government’s failure at rehabilitation and reintegration, prisons have become hotbeds of gangsterism and crime, where criminals operate between communities and prisons, keeping the networks alive no matter how long they are incarcerated. Prison has no effect, and with a rape culture that is endemic parole is often threatening to the public and should be feared. That is why people are calling for the death penalty.

As someone who opposed the death penalty all my life - through columns and speeches and letters to the editor - I am beginning to rethink my firm conviction on this matter, only insofar as SA is concerned. The only way we will be safe is when those who take life are denied the right to life as the only means to reassure the public that murder will not be tolerated. Further, government has repeatedly pardoned criminals with heinous track records, some of whom committed even more horrendous crimes on their release only to be sent back to prison again.

Gangsters reward contract killings. Goldin and Bloom’s killers have co-operated with the police because the act of killing brings with it a reward of moving up into the ranks of the “Americans” gang. Prison is no deterrent; in fact going back enables the gangsters to continue their activity with more clout and power, as they will have gained the respect of their rivals. Jonny Steinberg has written about this in his columns on these pages, and in his award-winning book, The Number.

We will never address crime unless President Thabo Mbeki authoritatively and unequivocally condemns murder every time it happens, and sees to it that the maximum punishment is meted out effectively. His silence over the brutal murders that happened last month was conspicuous. Government is not interventionist enough. In fact, the tolerance of white-collar crime and the growth of the corruption industry among political “gangsters” sets the context for gangsters who constantly explore ways to buck the system.

Before 1994 we robustly sang, “We shall overcome”. Today it more appropriately means, “Ons sal iets oor kom”, if we do not do something drastic soon.

Kadalie is a human rights activist based in Cape Town.

Free at last!!!

2006-03-22T18:03:00.000+02:00

I'm happy to report it's been 2 weeks since I last watched 'Alias' - I think I may be free at last!

Woohoo!

Current faves: 'Rescue Me', 'Lost' and 'Weeds'.

Pushing the limits of my beliefs...

2006-03-14T13:10:00.000+02:00

I am very against the death penalty. It's one of the many reasons I love living in this country. I seem to be in the minority, as a lot of people believe bringing it back will 'solve' the crime problems we have.

I disagree.

Mostly.

This incident that took place last week has pushed my beliefs to the limits and caused me moments of doubt:

*
Makgabo murder accused appearing
14/03/2006
Three men accused of murdering four-year-old Makgabo Matlala are appearing in the Vereeniging Magistrates Court. The granddaughter of Transvaal Judge President Bernard Ngoepe was killed during an armed robbery at her Lenasia South home last week. Her attackers also gang raped the family's domestic worker. The men face charges of murder, rape and housebreaking.
*

It is possible these men are repeat offenders.

'Tagging' along...

2006-02-08T10:12:00.000+02:00

Ok - so I've been tagged by Purplesimon. And it's made me realise I must be quite an open person 'cos I don't think there's much my nearest and dearest would be surprised to find out about yours truly...
Anyhow, here are 5 things you may or may not know about me:

1). I don't really like horror films, but can handle some of them just fine. As long as it's not "The Shining" (I got chills just typing the words). This movie haunted me before I even saw it! The ad for it was shown before another film I went to see as a young child - with blood coming out of the elevator... if you ever saw it you wouldn't forget it easily either I'm sure! When I eventually did watch the movie at 14 (in an attempt to face the fear and overcome it) it was almost as traumatic! I have a friend with an evil sense of humour who knows he just has to say the words, "Here's Johnny!" or "red rum" and I'm ready to curl up into a whimpering ball...

2). I have never dyed my hair... but am thinking about doing it for my 'wedding' in April.

3). I don't really care what happens to my body after I die - except that I want to donate all my organs (I have signed up to be a donor and carry the card around with me).

4). When I was young (around 11 or 12) I wanted to be a singer. Fact: I CAN'T sing! At all. Thankfully my father heard me attempting to sing one day, in my room, and gently informed me that I was useless. If only Britney's parents had done the same... *sigh*

5). I watch far too much TV and don't read enough. I am trying to change this.

Right - I now tag the following victims:

Zapruder
Lisa
A shade of Red

I have more friends than this, they just don't have blogs!

Life tax

2006-01-30T10:53:00.000+02:00

I have accepted that every day I have to pay 'life tax'. It's just so much easier than trying to fight it. Like a friend of mine who gets all anxious about not giving a few coins to the car guard, or who gets so annoyed at beggars at intersections. His argument is "why don't they go out and get a job?" I'd like to see him in that situation - much easier said than done.

The squeegee guys used to make me mad - now I just accept them and either give them money or negotiate with them to leave me alone. It was so worth it when one thanked me one day... I asked him really nicely not to clean my window because I didn't have any money to give him - and he smiled and said I was a nice lady who knows how to talk to people.

Fantasy Invention #1

2006-01-27T17:49:00.000+02:00

Let me begin with a disclaimer: I am NOT a violent person. Honest!

But sometimes I wish I had some sort of gun or rifle mounted on my car steering wheel. This would not be for stupid, bad drivers - that's far too boring.

I would use it to shoot at people who litter - people who throw junk out their car windows as they drive. There's also the occasional walker who throws stuff down the gutters, causing our roads to flood whenever it rains. Grrrrrrr...

Note: If the item littered is a cigarette I should get 'double points' - maybe a chocolate could automatically appear in my ashtray? Just a thought...

A group writing effort...

2006-01-16T10:44:00.000+02:00

This is a continuation of a story that was started by Kat here. Chris at Spontaneous Fiction followed and Raynwomaan provided an extension to the piece. Purplesimon took the next step, followed by T here.
Here's my contribution...

The Early Days

The dark was still inpenetrable. How long had she been sitting there? Four hours? Maybe five? The waiting game. How she loved to play.

Ms. Friday had a routine, and it would be her downfall. Noel just had to wait for exactly the right moment.

Even with her patience, the air vent was starting to feel cramped and stuffy - probably because her small, muscular frame was actually blocking all air flow through it. But this was the only way. At least she had removed her clothes before settling in. Sweating wasn't her style.

Waiting gave Noel time to think and process the evening's events. When had Ms. Friday turned? And more importantly, why?

Noel thought back to when they had met. Noel was 14, living on the street and getting high on anything she could lay her hands on. Ms. Friday was the dealer's girlfriend. She knew her as 'Louisa' back then - a quiet, unassuming girl who watched the drug scenes unfold around her. Always watching, never partaking.

It was only years later that Noel realised Louisa had had the plan all along. One day the dealer showed up dead, stabbed in the eyes, throat, chest and crotch - 27 times in total. This had been personal.

Louisa and all his money was gone. And so was Noel.

***

Ok - Jackie (who doesn't have her own blog) has made a contribution, so the story continues here...

Enter Handyman

The lab below was bathed in blue fluorescent light – essentially cool for maintaining the composition of The Corporation’s premium range of pharmaceuticals. Noel knew Ms. Friday made a 4 o’clock call to check on her babies and, with only an armed guard on the outside, Noel would get no interference when she dropped in.

At a few minutes to four Noel heard the distinct echo of Ms. Friday’s wedges on the steel runners. She’d already wriggled back into her clothes, used the doctor’s comb to jostle the maintenance cover out of its frame (handy weapon she thought) and now braced herself for an attack.

The door slid open and in stepped Ms. Friday….with Handyman on her arm. Noel gasped and jerked out of view. This was unexpected – Ms. Friday always did her rounds unaccompanied.

“That wily bitch has finished off Scramton and I’m not sure what her next move is. If she’s in the compound, I want you to find her and string her up for a slow death.” Ms. Friday’s voice trailed off as the two moved towards the tube-filled cabinets. Noel took a deep breath and remembered...

Handyman did a lot of Ms. Friday’s dirty work. He had a way with blades, especially the serrated type, and could target an inch of vulnerable flesh at 200 paces. The two were thick as thieves but make no mistake - Ms. Friday was both master and mind of the pair. Handyman and Noel had trained together but Ms. Friday never allowed them any contact once they’d been activated. Handyman was like ice and wood with nails in between – he never showed a glimmer of emotion. Except once…

Great Lyrics... Part 5

2006-01-04T16:57:00.000+02:00

Dinosaur Jr - you either love him or hate him. If I simply read his lyrics they don't seem to have that much impact - you really gotta hear him sing them! Anyway, this is one of my favourites...

Mind Glow

It's been runnin' for a long time
And it's runnin' out in my mind
I can't explain it all to you
It's really jumbled up

So for longer now I'm messed up
And I'm wishin' now I'd 'fessed up
That concern's no use to you
It feeds the pain that stung

So forget how I am dealin'
Explain to me the feelin'
It gets to that point instantly
You're ready to unload

And I'm the one you're spitting at
I'm ready for my fitting at
Doesn't make much sense
But when I get it calm it's slow

It's hard to admit anything
I'm sorry for the weight I bring
I'll do whatever's necessary
To make your mind glow soft

It's played out too far to stew
And I've run out of grace with you
So I'm out and take a walk
And we'll be better off

Whether I lied
As much as you tried
Whatever you decide
I hope it's good to you

For everybody's sake
Lord knows we all need a break
Do what you got to
This is hard to take

To the time I spent discussin'
I'll sit back and stop the fussin'
I won't mention it to anyone
And we'll be better off

I won't admit to anything
Sorry for the weight I bring
Do whatever's necessary
To make your mind glow soft

Whether I lied
As much as you tried
Whatever you decide
I hope it's good to you

For everybody's sake
Lord knows we all need a break
Do what you got to
This is hard to take

A dream come true!

2005-11-29T17:41:00.000+02:00

Ok - so not only did we see Lloyd Cole play live - TWICE - we also met him!!!

I have no words... here's a photo (above).

Purple summer!

2005-11-16T17:18:00.000+02:00

A few weeks ago I saw a very cool and inspirational sight. A young woman had set up an easel along the side of the road and was painting the gorgeous Jacaranda trees that lined the street.

I knew I was too lazy to do the same, but the next week I took the camera and took some pics. I was actually a week too late - at least half the beautiful purple blossoms had fallen off the trees already...

Getting old(er)

2005-11-10T12:28:00.000+02:00

A few days ago I had to concede that the 'bleached-blonde-by-the-sun' strands in my hair are in fact grey hairs.

I also don't recognise my hands - they belong to an aging woman.

I hate most new music.

I hate new technology and it confuses me.

But it's ok... because inside I feel like I'm finally getting to know myself.

Some random thoughts...

2005-10-17T14:32:00.000+02:00

What genius decided that popcorn was the thing to eat while watching movies? It's one of the noisiest foods around!

That stuff the dentist makes you rinse with is coloured red so you don't freak out about how much he made you bleed.

My life would be 100 times easier without the following: dust, ants, mosquitoes.

Great Lyrics... Part 4

2005-10-14T13:00:00.000+02:00

In honour of the fact that we will be going to the UK to see Lloyd Cole live in November! Or, it's about bloody time! This is one of my all time fave Lloyd songs, which he probably won't play live... :(

Margo's Waltz – Lloyd Cole

She said don't worry baby
I’ll do my own crying
I’m a big girl now
Now I’m gonna be okay
Yes I’ll find a new way of living
You know I will

And you lie there without sleeping
And you stare at your wall
And you realize you're not weeping
You don't need her anymore

You say don't hate me baby
It won't hurt you if you do
You got no reason not to
She'll kiss you on the head
Says there's no easy road for leaving
If it hurts you too

And you lie there without sleeping
And you stare at your wall
And you realize you're not weeping
You don't need her anymore

You walk by the old place
Looks like just any other place
Yeah that's what you say
You say I’ll be okay
Yes I’ll find a new way of living
Sure I will

And you lie there without sleeping
And you stare at your wall
And you realize you're not weeping
You don't need her anymore
You guess that it's over

Holiday!

2005-09-26T15:52:00.000+02:00

Just returned from a real SA holiday - we drove down to the Wild Coast (and back obviously). It was a loooong drive, but really great! I'd never been down to that area before and it was a real eye-opener to see what exists in your own country. Above are a couple of my favourite photos that we took...

Why can't I stop watching this STUPID show?!

2005-08-16T17:05:00.000+02:00

Ok, I know I am a TV addict and watch too much - but most of it is (in my opinion) good stuff to watch. My favourite shows are 'Carnivale' and 'Desperate Housewives', which I think most people would admit are not crap.

And yet, I can't stop watching 'Alias'. Why??? It is so stupid and far-fetched and bad - and yet I feel compelled to watch it every week. What is WRONG with me? I am an intelligent person. I am not obsessed with Jennifer Garner or anybody else on the show (although that wouldn't even be a decent excuse).

Every week, I sit there and roll my eyes at the ridiculous plot and horrific dialogue. And don't even get me started on the Marshall character! What were they thinking!!??

Oh well, maybe after tonight's episode I can try stop. Again.

*Sigh*

A memo to my cat...

2005-08-01T15:33:00.000+02:00

To Shika,

You probably don't realise this, but when you dig your claws into the bare skin of my legs for traction to pull yourself across my lap - it fucking HURTS!!!

Yours sincerely,
The one who feeds you (and bleeds)

Great Lyrics... Part 3

2005-07-29T10:19:00.000+02:00

The Beautiful South are a sick and morbid bunch. Really, they are. Here's proof... a selection of lyrics from some of their brilliant songs:

The perfect love song, it has no words, it only has death threats
And you can tell a classic ballad by how threatening it gets
So if you walk into your house and she's cutting up your mother
She's only trying to tell you that she loves you like no other

The perfect kiss is dry as sand and doesn't take your breath
The perfect kiss is with the boy that you've just stabbed to death

***

He was just a social drinker but social every night
He enjoyed a pint or two or three or four
She was just a silent thinker, silent every night
He'd enjoy the thought of killing her before

Well he was very rarely drunk but very rarely sober
And he didn't think the problem was his drink
But he only knew his problem when he knocked her over
And when the rotting flesh began to stink

Cry freedom for the woman in the wall
Cry freedom for she has no voice at all
I hear her cry all day, all night
I hear her voice from deep within the wall
Made a cross from knitting needles
Made a grave from hoover bags
Especially for the woman in the wall

She'd knitted him a jumper with dominoes on
So he wore it every day in every week
Pretended to himself that she hadn't really gone
Pretended that he thought he heard her speak
Then at last it seemed that he was really winning
He felt that he had some sort of grip
But all of his new life was sent a-spinning
When the rotting wall began to drip

***

It was another holiday argument
But she threw him into the sea
A glass bottomed boat pulled him up
His face was rotting in weed

***

I heard him whisper this question in her ear
'Would you still love me if I lost my legs?'
'I'd see that you were loved and you were fed'
'I end up in a car crash almost dead'
'For richer and for partly severed head'
I'd rather drink that toast to my own health
I think tonight I'd rather love myself

Obsession

2005-07-25T11:48:00.000+02:00

Watched the movie 'The Hole' again this weekend. It really is a great film! It is possibly the best portrayal of total obsession I've ever seen on screen. It was so badly marketed here - as a stupid teen-style horror, when it is SO much more than that!

If you haven't seen it yet - stop reading this post now and make a plan to watch it.

A great quote from the movie:

"Have you ever loved anyone so much you didn't care what happened to yourself?
You just had to be with them.
If they look at you, your heart stops.
If you feel their breath on your skin, you just ache.
Have you ever craved anyone so much you didn't exist anymore?"

It's been a long time coming...!

2005-07-21T15:48:00.000+02:00

Pics of my kitties are here! Winston is the 'Ginger Giant' and Shika is the 'cat that might just be a skunk'....

Watch this space - there will be more!

More photo dabbling...

2005-07-20T13:45:00.000+02:00

I call this one 'Watersky' - it's only slightly Photoshopped (colour) - the rest is mother nature!

Character sketch

2005-05-24T17:55:00.000+02:00

This piece was inspired by an interaction I had with an annoying man working at a travel agent. He was very insistent about the negative aspects of my desired destination, and only as I was about to leave did he admit he had never even been there!

***

“Good day Travel Shop this is Dieter how may I help you?”

That’s me, Dieter. I’m a travel agent. I’ve worked at Travel Shop for three years now. I really love my job.

Travel is so exciting. I prefer the holidaymakers to the business trippers though – they know how to get the most out of it. The business traveller generally spends 90% of the time in conferences and the rest getting drunk in the hotel bar. Pathetic.

I live at home with my mother. I know what you’re thinking. That’s quite sad for someone aged 33. But it works for me. Mum lets me do my own thing – I can have friends round for drinks until any time of night… or stay out all night if I want.

Of course I never do those things. I’m quite content to stay in and watch TV or get into bed early with a good book. Besides, living at home allows me to save money for my true love – travelling.

The UK and USA are my favourite destinations. I know that sounds so cliché, but I’m just not into that whole “cultural” experience thing. Weird delicacies in the Far East or braving the depths of Africa – it’s not for me.

I know I shouldn’t knock it ‘til I’ve tried it, but I don’t need to actually go to a place to know what it’s like. The truth is I’ve never been anywhere.

You heard me. Nowhere.

I’ve never even left the city. I was born in the same house where I still live – and will probably die in it.

Of course I never tell my clients at Travel Shop this. They need to know their agent has been to their pending destination.

It’s a trust issue.

Great Lyrics... Part 2

2005-05-12T15:47:00.000+02:00

This is what happens when I go through my cupboard and discover MORE mix tapes! I find most Barenaked Ladies songs have very sad lyrics - these in particular move me...

What a Good Boy - Barenaked Ladies

When I was born, they looked at me and said
what a good boy, what a smart boy, what a strong boy.
And when you were born, they looked at you and said,
what a good girl, what a smart girl, what a pretty girl.

We've got these chains that hang around our necks,
people want to strangle us with them before we take our first breath.
Afraid of change, afraid of staying the same,
when temptation calls, we just look away.

This name is the hairshirt I wear,
and this hairshirt is woven from your brown hair.
This song is the cross that I bear,
bear it with me, bear with me, bear with me,
be with me tonight,
I know that it isn't right, but be with me tonight.

I go to school, I write exams,
if I pass, if I fail, if I drop out,
does anyone give a damn?
And if they do, they'll soon forget 'cause it won't take much for me
to show my life ain't over yet.

I wake up scared, I wake up strange.
I wake up wondering if anything in my life is ever going to change.
I wake up scared, I wake up strange
and everything around me stays the same.

I couldn't tell you that I was wrong,
chickened out, grabbed a pen and paper, sat down and I wrote this song.
I couldn't tell you that you were right,
so instead I looked in the mirror, watched TV, laid awake all night.

The Old Job Hangover Effect...

2005-04-14T11:30:00.000+02:00

Isn't it funny how your old jobs come back to haunt you? No matter how much you hated them, or how long ago it was, they own you forever.

When I was 15 I used to sell a glass and jewellery cleaner at shopping malls. I had to stand behind a little table with a bowl of water and a cloth, and I offered free demonstrations to people - mostly women - passing by.

Thankfully was it was actually a good product - and most people bought it after the free demo. I would astound them with its 'anti-mist' effect, by urging them to try steam up their glasses after I'd cleaned them. Of course they couldn't, and then you hit them with the drinking coffee while reading a book angle, and they were yours.

So to this day I automatically notice people who wear glasses and rings as they walk past me.

The worst bad job hangover I have though is the bathroom supplies one. It was straight after I had graduated from university, and I had a growing student loan to pay back. I had studied a BA, and so my actual job prospects were slim.

A family friend needed an assistant and my father urged me to take it - as a temporary thing so I can at least start making some payments on that loan. The company she worked for sold soap dispensers, sanitary bins and towel dispensers for public bathrooms.

It was a really awful job and I only lasted 3 months. During that time I learned all about the different types of bathroom equipment you can get, and their pros and cons.

It was truly mind-numbing.

I didn't pay off any of my student loan while I worked there either, because my 1971 VW Beetle needed constant ‘medical attention’. Or I bought junk… who remembers?

The price I pay for the rest of my life? Every single public bathroom I ever go into, I notice which types of soap dispensers, sanitary bins and towel dispensers they use.

It is a skill I would prefer not to have.

Hilary STOLE that Oscar from Imelda Staunton!

2005-04-12T17:50:00.000+02:00

Don't get me wrong, I really like Hilary Swank... and I loved 'Million Dollar Baby' - but Mike Leigh is GOD when it comes to films and he always brings out the best in his cast. Imelda Staunton as Vera Drake is a truly award-winning performance! It still has not surpassed 'Naked' as my favourite film of all time (I doubt anything ever will), but it is an emotional gem.

Great Lyrics... Part 1

2005-02-08T13:43:00.000+02:00

Been listening to a mix tape in the car this week (hey - I'm an 80's child!), and decided this song has really great lyrics - great enough to share!
It's quite an obscure Cure song, taken off the X-Files soundtrack. I get obsessed about song lyrics on a regular basis so this is part one in a long series to come...

More Than This – The Cure

For a second of your life
Tell me if it’s true
I'm waiting for a sign
It's all I want of you
You heart hides a secret
A promise of what is
Something more than this

Just a second of your time
Any one will do
A taste of any other
Is all I want from you
Offer me the world
How can I resist
Something more than this

Make believe in magic
Make believe in dreams
Make believe impossible
Nothing as it seems
To see touch taste smell hear
But never know if it’s real

For a second of you life
Tell me if it’s true
Anywhere we are
It's all I want of you
In your lips lies a secret
A promise of a kiss
Or something more than this

Some writing

2005-01-14T11:19:00.000+02:00

This is a piece I did in the context of a writing group I belong to on e-mail. How it works is one person gives a 'prompt' and the others write whatever that inspires. The prompt for this piece was to use the song title or lyrics of a song - track 4 on the 7th CD on the rack. That CD on my rack was Lloyd Cole & The Commotions (naturally!).

I used the lyric "swimming is easy when you're headed for the deep, all you have to do is crawl" from the song 'Mainstream' as my inspiration...

***

I can’t remember when I first heard of it. The legend of the Deep. It may have been passed down through generations of my family. My memory plays tricks on me. I have flashes of being told the stories by an old man with a long beard. The room is lit by candlelight. But I don’t know the setting or the old man.

Sometimes I think it was just a dream. But that doesn’t explain the map. The light blue cloth had lain in a wooden box under my bed for as long as I can remember. I was told never to look at it, but to keep it safe.

I had obeyed. Until now.

*

The river was bright turquoise and surrounded by tall, thick trees. Without the map, it would have been impossible to find. Even with the map it had taken me six days.

Avery had wanted to come too, but I had begged him not to.

“What if it all goes wrong?” I said.

He started to cry. “How will I know if you made it?”

I smiled at him. “I’ll come back for you.”

*

The ground was wet and slippery, but I managed to manoeuvre down to the water’s edge within a few minutes. I looked across but couldn’t see the other side anymore. It looked as vast as the sea, but eerily still.

Glancing around to make sure I was alone, I quickly undressed. I laughed to myself at the absurdity of the situation. Who else would possibly be there? The place suddenly felt utterly deserted and a shiver darted across my neck.

What if it did all go wrong? Avery would wait and hold out hope - but for how long? And if I didn’t return, what would he tell the others?

We should have thought it through a bit better. But I had to leave quickly. Time was not something we had.

I dipped my fingers into the water. It was surprisingly warm. As I slid my arm deeper it seemed to get hotter.

I stood up and stepped down tentatively. The water covered my ankles. I knew it was too late to turn back. I waded in further until the water was up to my hips. My feet felt like they were burning from the heat coming off the riverbed.

I walked for another few minutes. The water didn’t get much deeper – it was only sitting on my waist. I looked back at the shoreline behind me. It was so far away I could barely see the spot where I’d left my clothes. How had I walked such a distance in a few minutes? Ahead I still couldn’t see the opposite side.

Then suddenly the riverbed dropped out from under me.

*

It was dark and silent. I realised my eyes were closed and tried to open them but they felt like they were glued together. I opened my mouth and tried to speak, but it felt like a velvet cloth had been shoved down my throat.

Than I realised what it was.

I was under the water!

I panicked. My eyes shot open and I reached below me to try get my bearings. It was pitch black and I couldn’t see a thing. My hands touched a smooth surface, which felt like marble.

I wondered for an instant if I was dead. Had I drowned? I was holding my breath and my lungs were starting to hurt. I figured I wouldn’t feel pain if I was dead. My instinct was to get to the water’s surface for air and I started to swim upwards. But there was no light above me and I realised I was in some sort of underwater cave. And I couldn’t see a way out.

I was going to die.

I had always wondered what it might feel like to drown. Your body’s natural instinct to keep fighting when you know it will be less painful to simply hold your breath until you pass out.

I decided not to fight. I opened my mouth and gulped the water in, hoping I’d maybe choke to death quickly.

And then I realised the strangest thing. I could breathe. I was underwater and I could breathe!

I tried to sit down on the marble floor so I could comprehend what had happened. It didn’t make any sense – even in the context of the legend. The story was that you swim down to the river’s bottom and there’s a doorway to the other side. There you can breathe and walk about like normal.

Maybe I had misunderstood it all these years? I had always assumed the other side wasn’t underwater. But maybe that was wrong. And I was already there.

But why was it so dark? And my body was definitely still being slightly swayed by the water – I couldn’t have just stood up and walked.

I decided I needed to move. It wasn’t going to help staying there indefinitely. I felt around with my hands and feet. The marble floor seemed relatively flat.

I would simply have to crawl.

*

My body was an aching mass. I had been crawling blindly for what felt like hours. But it might have only been minutes. The dark hadn’t dissipated at all, but at least I could still breathe.

Suddenly I heard something. It had been so silent that the noise sounded strange – not just because it had that underwater resonance. It sounded like it was coming from behind me, so I manoeuvred my body around.

It was still completely dark, but the ground suddenly felt different under my hands and knees. It had a roughness that seemed alive.

And then I grasped what was happening. The riverbed was crumbling beneath me. I pulled my body into a foetal position, closed my eyes and tried not to scream as I plummeted.

*

I heard the whisper from the depths of my consciousness. It felt like a dream. I slowly opened my eyes and saw dim light. I opened my mouth and knew I was no longer under water.

I sat up. I was on a bed made of wood. The room was lit by candlelight. As I looked down it seemed there was no floor underneath. Across the room I saw a shadow. As it moved closer I saw it was an old man with a long beard. He smiled at me and said, “I’ve been expecting you.”

Photo dabbling...

2005-01-13T13:25:00.000+02:00

So I've been playing with my new digital camera a bit. I never really felt much for photography (in terms of doing it myself - I love looking at it), but this new toy makes it so much fun. Of course playing around with the pics in Photoshop afterwards makes them even better!

This photo was taken in an awesome garden, then I messed with the colour balance. I quite like it...

I'm on the WWW

2005-01-01T00:54:00.000+02:00

It's finally happened... I've staked my place on the world wide web. I was inspired by a friend who set up her own blog - the Sagittarian in me couldn't be left out! ;>
Please check it out - Lisa's Art Blog - it's fab!