Character sketch

This piece was inspired by an interaction I had with an annoying man working at a travel agent. He was very insistent about the negative aspects of my desired destination, and only as I was about to leave did he admit he had never even been there!

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“Good day Travel Shop this is Dieter how may I help you?”

That’s me, Dieter. I’m a travel agent. I’ve worked at Travel Shop for three years now. I really love my job.

Travel is so exciting. I prefer the holidaymakers to the business trippers though – they know how to get the most out of it. The business traveller generally spends 90% of the time in conferences and the rest getting drunk in the hotel bar. Pathetic.

I live at home with my mother. I know what you’re thinking. That’s quite sad for someone aged 33. But it works for me. Mum lets me do my own thing – I can have friends round for drinks until any time of night… or stay out all night if I want.

Of course I never do those things. I’m quite content to stay in and watch TV or get into bed early with a good book. Besides, living at home allows me to save money for my true love – travelling.

The UK and USA are my favourite destinations. I know that sounds so cliché, but I’m just not into that whole “cultural” experience thing. Weird delicacies in the Far East or braving the depths of Africa – it’s not for me.

I know I shouldn’t knock it ‘til I’ve tried it, but I don’t need to actually go to a place to know what it’s like. The truth is I’ve never been anywhere.

You heard me. Nowhere.

I’ve never even left the city. I was born in the same house where I still live – and will probably die in it.

Of course I never tell my clients at Travel Shop this. They need to know their agent has been to their pending destination.

It’s a trust issue.